Before I begin this post, I want to share the first of a series I like to call "What I think is going to happen in the Gossip Girl Season 3 Premiere."



Basically, when I took a stab at writing a Gossip Girl spec I had two epiphanies. The first is that I am not skilled enough to differenciate between quality Gossip Girl writing and its cheesy parody. The second is that the latter is way more fun. And here we are.



Gossip… Continue

Sorry, guys. It's been many a year since I wrote narcissistic, gratuitously cruel film reviews in my college's newspaper. I had it down then. ("'Happy' Gilmore? More like '"Sucky' Gilmore!")

Actually, I truly love that movie and would never refer to it as 'Sucky' Gilmore. I would call it "'Crappy' Gilmore!" Shhha-wiiiiiiiing! Ohhhh, yeah. She fakes left. She fakes… Continue

Okay, no. No, no, no. You can't just slap furry boots on some Aryan princess and call it a day. This is not Jewish. It's more like Dakota Fanning went from Yellow 4 to Yellow 2. Continue

Well, at least that's what People Magazine says you should do.

No matter that only 40% of teen mothers graduate high school. You, too, can be as happy, fulfilled and educated as the Bristol on the front cover!



I guess we shouldn't be too hard on Bristol, though. With a mom like Palin, she should take all the mommy-glorifying she can… Continue

So there's a lot going on in the news right now. So if you don't mind, I'm just going to kinda go through all with no attempt whatsoever to make it all hang together. Okay? Okay.



What happened this week? If you're like me, you started it with a healthy dose of innane 80s flashbacks, i.e. Josh Schwartz's attempt at a… Continue